I suppose there’s someone out there that hates balloons. It seems to me that person is most likely in hiding because a) balloons are not endangered, in fact they might outnumber humans 5 to 1 (which could be where the mistrust of balloons began in the first place) and b) I’ve never heard of anyone hating balloons. However, if you are that one person who despises balloons, I wouldn’t listen to the above sound I threw together. It’ll most likely sound to you like a demon escaped from hell to collect your soul by rendering you limb from limb to get at it.
Instead of writing about how this balloon foley could be used in a movie and how to record it/what it symbolizes (spoiler alert – it symbolizes stolen innocence and a balloon) I thought I’d instead paint a mental picture to go along with the story this sound makes:
Picture, if you will, a young man. His curly hair bounces as his step does the same. The creases on his face are not from the cruel hands of age wringing his youthful looks from his face. No, rather they are from his giant grin. The young man has just bought a pack of balloons. He bursts through his front door. The front door of the small ½ bedroom apartment he shares with his GF (which is short for girlfriend), flings his shoes across the small apartment. He grabs a handful of balloons from the bag and throws all but one on the floor. He holds the husk of one large balloon in his trembling hands. He looks around the apartment and thinks to himself how much more magical the bag of balloons is going to make his girlfriends birthday celebrations that very same evening. He snaps the balloon as he stretches it out, preparing it for the gust of air he’s filling his lungs with. He blows hard but finds the rubber resistant to his charms. He blows harder and watches with glee as the sir fills the compact space of the balloon and inflates it. The young man skips towards the ½ bedroom to find some adhesive to secure his masterpiece to the wall with. He takes a breath and blows once, twice and thrice. Just as he gives the third breath he turns into the bedroom to find the birthday girl with her naked skin enveloped in sheets as well as the sweat stained, meat arms of another man. He stares at the horror show in front of him. His lover has streaks of white paint across her face and what looks like blood red lipstick smeared over her mouth and nose. The other mans face is much more covered in this war paint. The constant squeaking sound wakes the young man from his stupor. Is it the bedsprings? No, it’s a brand new bad. What could it be? Just then they illicit couple notice the now frowning young man, whose curls are no longer bouncing. In the middle on the white faces, red lipped other man is a big red balloon. No. A big red nose. The sickening realization causes the young to release his 90% blown balloon. It farts around the room at a blinding speed. Zig-zagging every which way until finally landing on his GF’s left breast with a quiet splat. Their eyes all meet in a Mexican standoff. It’s the clown that the girlfriend was fucking that blinks first, honks his nose and bends down to blow a balloon back up.
I’ve got 99 red balloons but a bitch ain’t one, hit me next week.